A big reason why I live for girl time (girl’s trips, girl’s dinners, girl’s nights, you name it) — is because it offers a tangible platform to say whatever the heck is going on in your lady-mind. It’s where you can confess the crazy shit you do and not be judged for it because your girls are all just as crazy in their own way.
SO. There we are this past weekend: in the car, driving to Big Sur. Me and four of my girlfriends. Talking about things like how long we go before we shave our legs, what mascara absolutely sucks so no one should buy it, the wackiest things in our recent search history, the biotch at work who smiles even when delivering bad news. You know, GIRL STUFF. So, thinking I was safe, I confidently ask my girlfriends, “Do you guys have any internet friends? Like people you’re cool with online but don’t know in real life yet?” Totally thinking they are going to be like, “yeah definitely!”
But they did not say, “yeah definitely!” It was more like…. “definitely not.”
I was like, oh….
Nah. I told them about my online friends! A lot of this might just be the line of work I’m in (having to be active on social media, the Violet Fog platform, etc), but…. I do have internet friends. And they are dope ass people! I love them. Luuuuurve them.
In real life, my social tank drains faster than a margarita fish bowl on Mardi Gras night. (lame joke. Sorry….)
But look. Besides family, I really choose to only make time for my best friends, a few “good friends”, business friends who I collaborate with, and only every now and then: an acquaintance. I’m a people LOVER. Don’t get me wrong. I get along with everyone because nearly every person I encounter intrigues me in some way. Yet… I’m not one of those people who wants to have a million active friends “in real life.” I’m too much of an introvert for that. My favorite conversations are often with people I’m never going to see again.
Here’s why I like my Internet friends (aka VF readers and other professional creatives): I can say things more eloquently through the screen, I can cut out the dreaded small talk, and I can connect with strangers in an intimate way because I have no bias on their real life situation nor do they have one on mine.
If I’m being honest, I’ve made internet friends since the day my parents got the internet back in 1999 and I’d go in those live chatrooms. (Screen name, DivaPeanut LOL) Looking back, it was probably full of creepers, but I was down to talk to strangers from all over the globe and found it to be so fascinating! These people I’d never meet in real life but got to talk to for that moment in time.
One of my BEST FRIENDS, I met on Myspace. 12 years later it’s one of the greatest friendships I’ve ever had. She’s not an internet friend anymore, but started as one. (P.S- Myspace was the coolest. Having a song on your profile? So expressive! I wonder how Tom is doin’.)
My first Instagram friend, was a random girl named @katenoeight. We’ve been IG friends since like, 2012. When we first “met,” she was super into fashion and living this cool beach-y lifestyle, and now she’s this crossfit champion who travels all over and is most likely one of the strongest girls I “know.” We like every photo of each other and we’re just IG buddies. I appreciate her!
Then, my first two “professional creative” friends online were @TaraMarieRose and @Jowitka. Also since 2012. Tara is from Canada and lives the cutest life and this girl, oh my Gawd, she is the most POSITIVE woman I have ever encountered. Like I’m truly given a little spark whenever she posts something online. She wrote me when my dog passed, she’s put me in touch with awesome companies to work with, she even met one of my real life best friends when she was in SF! (Sadly I was not there then!) Internet friends, sure, but feels, and is, like a real friendship.
@Jowitka is just this badass bohemian glam girl who inspires me fashion and business wise. She runs her own her online bikini shop and is totally a girl’s girl. I don’t know her, but kinda feel like I do! When good things happen for her, I’m stoked! As if she were my real life friend.
Another internet friend is this woman who lives across the country and is just this lioness woman warrior. She has talented kids, beautiful friendships, is super into wellness and mental health and she just lifts people UP online. Her handle is @azuaintuition and she WILL give you women-power vibes if you ever follow her. Such a free spirit.
OH! I once met one of my internet friends by chance in real life! @Brittybug. We were both a little drunky at different bachelorette parties at the same hotel in Palm Springs and recognized each other. This girl has been a girl crush for like, 6 years now. I found her online because she knew my old roommate and one day I just started creeping on her because I dug her style and thought her captions were hilarious. She’s so awesome!
Then there’s @redheaded.dreamer. From London. Whom I adore. We initially connected years ago because we had similar struggles in certain areas of our life and it was just so, so nice to have someone to talk to who “got it” and didn’t judge. Who you could open up to and have no consequences later for doing so. We’re still total buds to this day!
One of my BEST (BEST BEST BEST) internet friends is @JoeyReibling. He is HILARIOUS and we basically tell each other everything from dating life, to career highs and lows, to what products are complete SHIT and what products we can’t live without… it almost doesn’t feel right to call him an “internet” friend because he gets me better than some of my girlfriends and we cheer each other on every single day. Ya feel me? Thank you Instagram for that!
One internet friend I can’t WAIT to meet is @inkandpulp. Mostly because we’re both INFP’s and I’ve only met one other female INFP in my life and that was SUPER exciting for me. I’m a nerd. Anyway, we both live in the San Francisco and she’s soooo talented and poetic, I just know a friendship would translate in real life too.
And @hey__judes! I have a photography crush on this girl and she’s super intelligent so I get a LOT of value from following her. Have the internet to thank for that!
I have a few more stories like those above. People from Portland I want to meet, people from New York, other countries, all over. I guess my point is, internet friends rock! As long as they are genuine and not just for likes and superficial shiz. To me, it’s so great being able to connect with people I might not have known in real life. And sometimes we end up connecting over the most niche things ever. It’s awesome! I just love it. I love my internet girlfriends.
They’re the ones sending you a “girrrrrl you look great!” when you post a selfie. Or send you links to things you might enjoy. Or connect you with other like minded people. Who share your work. Who appreciated that sacred online persona you present to the world. God bless em!
I also connect with a lot of VF readers on the reg. I LOVE when people respond to me on IG stories. Or send emails after an article they read. Or engage over any given social media platform. Call me a total dork because it’s true but I really do enjoy connecting with people online! Majority of the people I follow on Instagram, by the way, are Violet Fog readers. Because you guys are the shit. Some that I engage with on the reg are @_itsdyno and @daniellenicolay (who I’m pretty sure have been reading my stuff since the old fashion blog days so I love them extra for their loyalty), @heyannamichele (homegirl makes the COOLEST hand drawn agendas every week), @jackavenue (always discovering cool places!), and @ljspice! (fellow foodie!)
Internet friends are this bee’s knees!! I don’t care what anyone says. 😛 Who are some of your favorite internet friends? Do you have any?