I used to get frustrated when friends did not respond to my texts or declined my invitations to hang out. Do they not like me? Do they think I’m desperate? Over time I became more mature… started getting busier… and I realized something:  I was being such a self-centric person.

Thinking that this “rejection” had anything to do with me was silly. There’s no need to even call it a rejection. People are busy.

I got busy too… I started forgetting to respond to text messages, started declining invitations too. (Not intentionally of course!)

It’s really NOT personal, we ARE all busy. We’re all trying to prioritize things in the limited time we have. We’re a tad forgetful, and we can’t get to e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. Especially not at the drop of a hat.

Here are some of my own texts for example:




Aaaaaand we have not texted since. No reply since August. LOL. (And I’m certain our relationships are not strained because of it.)

Look. Unless you’re a long-term significant other or a family member, perhaps a specific friend in a very specific circumstance… you’re not at the top of the list of priorities. And you should be fine with that.

9 out of 10 times, people aren’t trying to be malicious. (<— This is a stat I made up) And even if they are being jerks, it just feels much better to think about things in a more positive way. So why not do that for yourself and stop taking it so personally? Don’t let every lack of interaction drive you nuts. Also, you don’t have to have those whiny “I don’t understand why” conversations with your friends…

Here are some reasons they’re possibly not responding:

  • They’re probably busy.
  • Maybe their phone got stolen. Or died. Or they are doing something where it’s rude to have it out.
  • You accidentally offended them and/or…
  • Perhaps they don’t like you (btw- they have a right to).

You’d probably have an inclination if it was one of the last two. But in the end, it doesn’t matter and you have no idea what their situation is. We shouldn’t put so much time and energy into something we have no control over and know nothing about. C’mon, your time is way more valuable than that. Let people not respond to you sometimes and be OKAY with it. (If they always alllllllways leave you hanging then that’s a different story.)

Think positively: Tell yourself, my friends are just busy being awesome and doing what they gotta do right now, and I should do the same. Done and done, no time worrying about the no text back or declined invite. #BrainIsTheNewAss

By the way, there’s a difference between a good friend going radio silent versus someone you recently met.

When you’ve moved to a new city and you’re finding your tribe, know this: non-comital people are rampant. You don’t want to look desperate nor is it fun feeling desperate. So like with trying new things and learning something new, I give it 3 solid attempts. After text #3, I start feeling pretty dumb and like I’m wasting my time (probably more the former lol- I’m an ENTJ… we don’t let ourselves feel SUPER lame. 😉 At least not for long! Too much of a time waster.)

My take on it: if you invite someone once and it doesn’t work out, they were probably busy. Twice: something could have come up. Three times: you ain’t getting another invite. Bye.

So if you’re waiting for a text back from a friend or a date… or a response to an invitation, just chill y’all… they probably busy. Don’t trip over it! Direct thy energy elsewhere! Just a reminder a lot of us need these days.

Violet Fog
Written by your home girls at The Violet Fog

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Violet Fog

Written by your home girls at The Violet Fog

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