Violet Fog Archives. Oldie but goodie!
In the past three days I’ve realized that I am a hilariously ugly crier. This past weekend was just… water works GALORE for me.
It was borderline embarrassing. Because I’m usually not a crier. You know those moments when you feel like you should be crying, but can’t? And then you try to think of the saddest shit ever to try to FORCE yourself to cry… but it never works?
That’s usually me. But not this past weekend! Faaaaack.
It all started on Friday night. I was going out for wine and apps with some of my friends. So I was feelin’ good! I was feelin’ great! Girl’s night! Loved it.
THEN. I get home and decide to go through the week’s mail right before bed. In it was a letter with some pictures of my Grandma, who passed away last year. I’ve made it a point to get on with my life, but I still feel lost without her. But with this letter, I didn’t think I was going to cry reading it, but next thing you know, tears.
I still feel devastated from losing her, but I must admit my crying act that night was comical. First, I had to keep it quiet so my roommates didn’t hear– which is so hard to do, sobbing and not making any noise. I literally looked like a screaming baby, bright red in the face, but with no sound coming out. THEN I spilled my water all over my desk and was even more pissed that my crying session was interrupted. So it was like, *sob bawling sob sob sob* *oh shit, oh no… oh no… paper towels! paper towels!* in .02 seconds.
On Saturday I cleaned, organized my room and did some writing. Then my friend Sarah came over that night for a few hours for some quality girl talk and take out- garlic bread and cheesecake- bomb. Anyway, long story short, I was telling her about my previous crying episode about my Grandma the night before and I end up bawling about it AGAIN. AGAAAAAIN. Second time in less than 24 hours what was this shit!?
And these weren’t some “Sorry, do you have a tissue? I can’t believe I’m getting watery eyed!” kind of tears. They were some dramatic ass tears- I could have filled up a damn CEREAL BOWL with my tears. That kind of crying.
But okay do you ever look at yourself in the mirror AS you’re crying? Well, we were sitting at my kitchen table, which has a big mirror propped up on it, and for a split second I caught a glance of myself. And in that moment I thought…
“Katey… omfg you are one ugly ass crier.” My face was puffy, eyes just SO red, shoveling cake down my throat… it’s an image so sad and hilarious I will never forget it.
Then on Sunday, I went to church and met up with some friends to watch the football games. I didn’t plan on drinking but it happened anyway… because, peer pressure is real. Haha. But I had a great time. We ended up running over to my friend Michelle’s work (all drunky) to go visit her. We were laughing, playing and right as we left- I realized I lost my wallet. Shiit! No. No. Noooo! We searched and searched. It was no where to be found.
Damnit y’all, that was the LAST straw that broke the camel’s back. Let me tell ya… I went hard on the waterworks that night. My inner drama queen was out in full force. I ended up walking around my neighborhood streets for an entire HOUR on the phone with my Mom (because I’m 5 and I still want my Mom when things go wrong) and balled to her about everything under the sun I could think of that wasn’t going my way.
You know when you see those drunk girls out in public, by themselves, mascara down to their chin, phone pressed up to their ear, crying crying crying, and you think, “Yikes.. someone had a rough night.” I WAS THAT GIRL.
What can I say… when I actually do cry, I seem to do it in the fugliest way possible. But you know what’s funny… I woke up on Monday feeling less stressed and more light on my feet than I have in awhile. It really is true that a good cry (or three) does some soothing for the soul. So maybe I shouldn’t feel so embarrassed about crying when I do, because we were made to be able to cry. It serves a function. Just do it in private, if you can!
By the way. Sarah just called. She found my wallet. It was in her purse the entire time. Wow…. 😛
You got any crying stories? We’d love to hear em! Spill!