I *JUST* turned 30. And honey– I ain’t even batting an eyelash at it. People are so lame about their 20s coming to an end. They covet the 20s way too much.
Or they are SO HARD ON THEMSELVES if they aren’t where they think they “should be” at 30. Stop it. Stop it!! Whenever those ridiculous (outdated) society standards creep into MY head… I shoo that shit away. Real quick.
Don’t let things like that have weight over you. You’re better than that. Married, where you want to be in your career, your savings account (or lack thereof), kids, no kids… your path is different than everyone else’s. That’s what makes life so intriguing.
Ask anyone who knows me- I’ve imagined the 30s decade to be a SEXY and powerful one. Where people take you a littttle more seriously. Where you live in the moment perhaps EVEN more, because it is often at the closing of one’s 20s when they realize that… life? It’s short y’all. And there is no time like the present.
When you’re 23, you think you still have all the time in the world to do big life changing things. So often, instead of DOING… we take our time. We wait to jump in because we think there’s still plenty of time left. But the truth about time is that the older we get, the faster time seems to fly. <— I realize some 20s have already figured this out!
I imagine a very “seize the moment” kind of vibe for my 30s. I imagine life to have even more beautiful moments in just doing the mundane– walks with friends. Staying home and pampering myself. Binge watching a TV show that is mentally stimulating, or opening my eyes to something new. Cooking. Grocery shopping. Seriously, you can find so much thrill and wonder in the uneventful.
In our 20s at this day and age— FOMO is way too real. And it’s not good. (Dear Grandpa, who reads every Violet Fog article, FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out) 😉
Today, we’re bombarded with EVERYTHING people are doing at every given moment.
Remember in high school (or middle school if you are early/mid 20s) when you would come back to school from summer vacation and majority of people didn’t know WHAT the hell you’d been up to and vice versa? HOW NICE WAS THAT? These days, everybody knows everybody’s whereabouts and happenings. It’s kind of weird actually… and we think we’re missing out on things when we aren’t. We’re all just doing our own things!
To be honest, I’ve actually never really dealt with FOMO myself. (I’m a proud introvert most of the time. ;-)) But I still had it a bit. What I predict is that I’ll have it even LESS in my 30s.
I hope FOMO gets better for people as they grow older. And isn’t that something to look forward to? Just NOT GIVING A SHIT what other people are doing? FOMO is not a good thing y’all. It steals happiness from your current situation.
You gotta be content wherever you are and whatever you are doing. Believe in the present and the purpose for it! I’m friends with so many women in their 30s and they’ve all hinted that it’s as they’ve gotten older where they really understand this more.
I have a promise to women in their 20s. (Because we do have our fair share of wonderful 20s readers.) I am not going to let the 30s scare me. Or make them seem lame. Because they aren’t! 30s are going to be fabulous and I want to show you that. Help relieve some of that fear.
In my mind- why TF should age scare me? Aging is not a bad thing– the older you get the longer you have gotten to enjoy this life!
Think of young people whose lives were taken too soon and never got the chance to even SEE 30. Think of how much they would have wished to see 30. Growing older is a gift not promised to everyone.
Count your years as GIFTS.
I feel like my prime is just starting at 30. I truly look forward to this decade. Most of my 20s (lol I was just 29 a week ago) were spent feeling insecure and lost. (Even if it didn’t seem that way on the outside, that’s the truth!)
The older I get, the better of a person I have become. The better I understand my body. The clearer I am seeing things. I value myself MORE the older I get. Not less. I look forward to a life of continuous improvement!
Our society’s overall attitude towards age sucks. They try to decipher the standards for age and create this limiting BOX for us to live in. Just say NO and don’t listen. You know if something feels “right” or not. Don’t let society determine that FOR you.
The journey of womanhood is complex. What matters is that all of us, at ALL ages, need to be rooting each other on. Supporting each other. Valuing each other. Proving that every age is beautiful and magnificent. We must be active in this.
Younger is not better. Older is not better. Age just IS.
Looking back at my 20s, what really pisses me off the most is that I was bombarded with ageism. This obsession with “staying young” and “growing older.” I’m resentful of it because it made me feel like I was being robbed of merely living in the moment. Instead, I needed to ask myself if I was “too old” to do this, “too young” to do that. That 30 was when you weren’t officially young anymore.
I say, f*ck that. And we gotta stop glorifying YOUNG.
Even for young people’s it’s not good to glorify it! lol
I’m not letting the media and society make me believe that I am less than because I am a women in her 30s. Or 40s. Or 50s and 60s and 70s and 80s and beyond. It’s RIDICULOUS.
My Grandpa… he’s the MAN. He’s hilarious and has strong opinions and people’s respect and he’s just as fun to hang out with as a 20 or 30 something year old. My Grandpa is 92!!
My FAVORITE PERSON ONLINE is 75. Her name is E Jean Carroll and she’s the advice columnist for Elle Magazine. I feel such a connection to her in many ways. I’d prefer her company over most 20 somethings to be honest. (And you should read our interview with her about turning 30 and enjoying aging! It’s a good one!)
My SISTER is in her 50s. Yes, my REAL half sister. When Celeste and I are together, we LAUGH SO MUCH. We spill the beans on everything under the sun and there’s no judgement between us. We have FUN. We RELATE in many ways. She’s one of my best friends. Do I care that she’s in her 50s? Nope. Does she care that I am 30? Nope.
Age ain’t a thing baby. Stop worrying. When you’re young, they’re going to think you’re inexperienced. When you’re old, they’re going to think you’ve surpassed your prime. Fight it! Start embracing! All new chapters are about to open up and it can be SO FUN if you let it!
To my girls in their 20s: Don’t f*cking WORRY about 30 okay? I got you. I got us! I’m going to fight this aging stigma and hopefully you’re with me on it.
***And if there is any advice I can offer you right now (as a ripe young 30 year old)… it’s about skincare. I do know my shit about skincare and I promise you I am talking to the smartest, best people in the field all the time. And I’m reading alllll the research. I will keep sharing with you what I know. But don’t strive for perfection because you’ll never achieve that okay?! Just aim to age gracefully– if you wan’t to. 🙂 If you don’t care then that’s cool too. Beauty is not the most important part of life. <3
I wish more women would celebrate themselves growing older instead of fearing it. Aging can be really beautiful. Believe it.