For years we’ve heard women say ??my partner only wants [insert grooming preference]?? OR how it??s ??socially unacceptable for women to have a full bush?? or any hair because it ??dirty?? or ??gross?? OR… how it??s not ??appropriate?? for women to remove all hair because it resembles that of a ??child.” WHY? Why do we say these things?
I want to digress a little bit. While I am not a fruit expert (fruitologist? Is that a real word?), I want to discuss the anatomy of fruit.
Let??s begin with the peach ?? as we all know, it??s no secret, a peach has fuzz. With evolution, peaches have learned that the fuzz irritates the skin of the insects therefore turning it off from eating the fruit. Next, we have raspberries and blackberries. Of the berries, these have the most fuzz. Not as much as a peach but still a little bit of fuzz. Why? Also to protect itself from insect predators. Same with apricots? fuzz. All varying levels of fuzz but still accomplishing the same purpose.
Changing gears a little bit ?? let??s move on to the apple. An apple, as we all know, doesn??t have fuzz but it has a thin skin. Said skin prevents microbes and fungi from entering but with a sleeker more polished look. This anatomy also belongs to grapes, cherries, mangos, guava and blueberries among many others.
Changing gears one last time ?? the pineapple. Now the pineapple is a little bit of a bad ass because not only does it have a thick coat and fuzz, it also has spikes. Same with dragon fruit and durian! Bad. Ass. ??What??s incredible is that while they are all fruit, due to nature, pollination and winning the survival-of-the-fittest fruit competitions, their anatomies are all very different! NOTE: Neither are gross or ugly or inferior to other fruit, they are all just different!
Our vagina preferences are the SAME: light fuzz, sleek and polished… spikes, a combination of all! And just like fruit, no style is gross or ugly or inferior to others!
When did it ever come about that one style is better than the other?
Here is what we need to STOP doing
Let??s collectively join forces and stop bashing other women??s grooming preferences! Why is it on us to tell other women how to feel confident and fresh? Years ago a friend of mine got everything below the waist laser-ed off. I by ??everything??, I mean EVERYTHING. And for years, I couldn’t understand why she would ever do that. I mean, if she keeps up with the treatments, that??s a permanent decision! Then I realized this friend is one of the most confident people I know. Girl just understands her body more than anyone else and knows what SHE needs to feel good! So I stopped judging and I stopped teasing and I stopped questioning and STOPPED vagina shaming!
Let??s STOP being afraid to talk about it! It??s like we are embarrassed by it! Let??s create a culture where it??s ok to talk to each other about vaginas (and penises) and grooming and sex education. We could all learn a thing or two from kids who so freely talk about their vaginas and penises and have no shame!
Let??s STOP feeling like we need to apologize for our vaginas! You do not owe any sexual partner an explanation for your grooming habits! And if you do, they are probably not mature enough for you! You do not owe your gynecologist an apology for your habits! It??s their job to look at all kinds of vaginas all day! You do not owe the lady who is about to give you a wax an apology because you??ve gone on a long time without one.
Here is what we need to START doing
Instead of being pro-bush or pro-brazilian or pro-landing-strip? let??s be pro-everything! Let??s support each other??s confidence and beauty, let??s be proud to say ??yea bitch, I get a wax every month?? or ??fuck yes, I have a bush and I love it?? or ??there??s an arrow on my vagina, just because I felt like it!???? no explanation needed!
Let??s START acknowledging that literally EVERY OTHER FEMALE also has a vagina so why are we whispering when we talk about it? (Why shame that word?– Vagina.) No one whispers when we talk about ears. You know why? Because everyone has ears! All women have vaginas so LET??S TALK ABOUT IT!
Let??s START realizing that if fruit can kick ass and be different and special in their own individual way, then we, as women, can too! So if one day, you want to be a sleek apple or a super fuzzy peach or a lightly fuzzy raspberry, or a goddamn pineapple with spikes as a style, then YOU SHOULD! The bonus is that it??s not just various fruit that shares anatomy ?? chances are, you probably have a friend that shares yours too! And how cool is it to exchange tips and health advice! AND while fruit develop that way to fight off bugs as their purpose, we need to develop our style to feel fucking awesome as our purpose because it??s worth it!
And finally, let??s realize that ultimately, people won??t stop hating and society won??t stop setting standards so let??s START dictating what WE have to do in order to feel 100% every single day about our OWN vaginas!