When I turned 29 last year, I wanted to give a polite “UP yours” to every person who implied that 29 was getting old– that I should really enjoy it because “in one year it’s over!”

Ummm… eff that. WHAT is over? The crippling self-consciousness that comes with being in your 20s? The feeling of obligation to waste time entertaining relationships that are really no more than acquaintances? Career wise- having to prove yourself extra hard to dispel the immediate you’re-in-your-20s-you’re-an-idiot notion?

OKAY COOL! Good riddance!

Surely they don’t mean the fun is over after 30. Our idea of fun will continue to evolve throughout life, and thank G! Because if it didn’t, things would get static… and that’s boring.

And surely they don’t mean you have to stop going out and being SOCIAL after 30. If women over 30 stopped going out, bars and venues would see a significant decrease in revenue. They’d plead to have them back.

I see the 30’s as a very sexy, social time to look forward to. When we go out, for instance, we’ll probably make better drunk decisions because we’ll have some extra wisdom. We’ll drink better liquor. We’ll be surrounded by fun-loving, handsome grown men instead of these ManBoy Frat-heads in tank tops pounding shots. We’ll toast to our career advancements, to good things happening in the world… rather than just “IT’S FRIDAY NIGHT BITCHES! DRINK!”

So we might not go OUT out as frequently as we get older, but that’s not because we can’t or we’re not welcome (obviously we are) but more-so because our idea of fun will shift. We will start to take pleasure in other ways to spend our time.

At 29, I’ll hit the town for a night out with my girlfriends at the drop of a hat if they ask me- because it means quality time together that we don’t always get. But I will not go out just to “go out” anymore. There’s gotta be a purpose. And that’s alllllll good. Ladies, we can honor our learned (or earned?) wisdom and have fun simultaneously. You don’t just have to pick one. You can have as much of a social life as you like, no matter the age! I know so many women in their 30s with a hot social life. They’re responsible, productive, respected…and STILL GO OUT! Some of them are married too! Or have kids. They find a way!

Now let’s talk about looks. Are you going to start getting some fine lines in your late twenties/early 30s? YEP. But who cares? It does not mean you don’t still got it. It doesn’t mean you’re “not as pretty” as you once were. You’re going to look mostly the same for a longgggg time. Just take care of yourself. Do whatever you can (or hell- just whatever you want to) for prevention. Whether you’re pulling out all the stops or not doing a damn thing… it doesn’t matter, just don’t obsess. It’s not good for you. Myself.. I’m a freaking NUT about my skin. But even as I take preventative measures, I know that unless I die early, the years WILL keep coming and I WILL age. But it’s slowly!! It’s never overnight! And I don’t mind it! Bring it on, life!

Technically, you could actually get better looking in your 30s. Especially if you were hard on your body in your 20s. You can up your workout game more than you ever did in your 20s. You can try to do your makeup better. Shape your brows better, dress more flattering– I don’t know! But we can always improve if we really want to. But you know what? As I type this, I’m wondering out loud, does it really matter? It doesn’t. It’s kinda shallow thinking. Just wanted to reiterate that it doesn’t all go out the window at a certain age.

And look at it this way: the added confidence that comes with your late 20s and 30s pretty much equals you out to your prior early/mid 20s “perfect” self– because chances are your ass was way more insecure then. Insecurity ain’t pretty. Confidence, though, that’s sooooo sexy. And confidence knows no age.

An aging Woman is damn beautiful. Especially if she welcomes it and just owns?that ish. *Insert girl in red dress emoji*

Next up, let’s discuss the metabolism. Sure, it begins to slow a bit… but if you’re exercising and eating healthy then you’ll be fine! FINE! I promise. Eating healthy and exercising is something we should be trying to do anyway, right? So what’s the big deal? Better for your body’s functionality anyway. Even ultra skinny 21ers shouldn’t be eating crap. If you’re finding you have to work harder to keep your figure then, hey.. just do it. It really ain’t that bad. OR embrace some extra curves! Va va voom baby! Why not? Maybe you’ll feel more confident with extra curves or softness! Just talk kindly to yourself. Your body is a warrior tank of vitality- treat it with love!

Don’t let a few MINOR wrinkles and a slightly slower metabolism make you think you’re old. The body is always in flux and in your early and even mid 30s, your body is still relatively young. And the mind is young forever! As my Mom always tells me, “I’m 67 and I don’t feel old!”

Even Erik Erikson (famed developmental psychologist) says young adulthood is 19-40. FORTY!

Psychologist Carl Jung (whom we can thank for the Meyrs Briggs personality test) states that around age 30 is when we begin to focus less on personal concerns such as materialism and sexuality and more on collective concerns such as humanity and community. Personally, I think that’s a good thing. He also believes that if we just acknowledge that shift and don’t try to fight it, we shouldn’t feel so neurotic and worried about getting older. And again, “getting older” doesn’t mean “old.”

And if after allllll this you’re still worried about getting older, look at the following celebrities in their FORTIES and beyond. Obviously, their accomplishments are 374328X more important than their looks but since we already went there, may I present to you:

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Gong Li. 51.

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Roselyn Sanchez. 43.

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Halle Berry. 50.

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Heidi Klum. 43.

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Jennifer Lopez. 47.

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Padma Lakshmi. 46.

DA DA DA DA, DA DA DA DA?DAMN!

Your time is not running out. Let yourselves relax! We cannot have our Queens of the world running around stressed over something so silly and out of their control!

So Babetown! Listen up. Let’s focus on confidence, health and happiness first and we will shine no matter the age. Sounds cliche but that shit is TRUE. Cheers to the female rebels of every age. I’ve heard the real fun starts after 60 anyway. 😉

Read E. Jean’s advice to women turning 30.
Read, “The minor heartbreak of feeling out of shape

Katey Yurko
Katey || INFP || Founder/Director of Violet Fog ||

About The Author

Katey Yurko

Katey || INFP || Founder/Director of Violet Fog ||

15 Responses

  1. Jen

    My friends were JUST talking about this–is it cool to claim old? Because our twenty-something friends seem to think so. I just got invited to a 25th birthday. Evite title? “Grandma Heather’s Birthday.” She is just one of a handful of women I know in their 20’s/30’s who always talk about being old. One of my friends is about to turn 40 this Spring I’ve NEVER heard her complain about her age–or call herself old. In fact, none of my mid-thirty-somethings do…and my friends with kids? Forget it! They are still hitting the town when they want to. Priorities shift, but nothing takes the place of your girlfriends, no matter what age you are. (Cue SATC theme song) My mom and her friend group are in their 50’s/Early 60’s and still take girls trips and meet up for happy hours and ladies nights. I’m a firm believer that you become your thoughts. Think young feel young. It’s cliche but def a state of mind;) I love what you said: “Life,bring it on!”

    Reply
  2. Yoyo

    I’ve been a little obsessed with you girls ever since I found you through CynEats last week. Pretty much have read everything in your archives. Just wanted to give a shout out to keep up the awesome work. I love your voice and how you write like you’re talking to us, even how you guys sprinkle in “lol” a lot. This article’s a perfect example of your no frills, girl empowerment message, which I love. SF needs you girls! I expect to see great things to come.

    PS I can also be your other “doctor blogger” friend! itsfroyoyo.blogspot.com

    Reply
    • Violet Fog
      Violet Fog

      “30’s, 20’s, who gives a shit” was kind of the point of our article dude!

      Reply
  3. Rebeca

    Wow this made me feel so much better. I am 32 and I can’t stop stressing my age. I feel like what am I going to get fit for if anytime soon I have to pop a child out. And it honestly just makes me feel so old and I keep putting myself down about it. I am so glad I bumped into your page. Thanks a bunch!!

    Reply
    • Violet Fog
      Violet Fog

      Makes me so happy you found some comfort in this article. 30s are a sexy power decade! And still young.

      Reply
  4. Amber Nicole

    I am 29 now and I totally second all of what you have said….we all get older….those that speak about this aging thing to women especially, can seriously go to hell….forget what the superficial media puts out there but it makes good money so it is out there….Some people honestly look better with age, and i mean females…because they have the means to take care of themselves better so they do just that…love the skin you are in unless you drop dead young, you will age….enjoy and embrace…thanks so much for the post…ON POINT!!!

    Reply
    • Violet Fog
      Violet Fog

      Ahhh Amber thank you for the love and support! And hell yes so glad you are on the same page. We’ll keep fighting the good fight! -Katey

      Reply

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