A big reason why I live for girl time (girl’s trips, girl’s dinners, girl’s nights, you name it) — is because it offers a tangible platform to say whatever the heck is going on in my mind. It’s where I can confess the crazy shit I do or think and not be judged for it because my girls are all just as crazy in their own way. This why we need girl time.
But I remember one time driving in the car with my girlfriends. We were talking about things like how long we go before we shave our legs, what mascara absolutely sucks, wacky things in our search history, the biotch at work who smiles even when delivering bad news… You know, GIRL STUFF. Thinking I was safe, I confidently ask my friends…
“Do you guys have any internet friends? Like people you’re cool with online but don’t know in real life?” TOTALLY thinking they’d be like, “yeah definitely!”
But they did not say, “yeah definitely!” It was more like…. “definitely not.”
I was like, oh….
Nah. I told them about my online friends! A lot of this is the line of work I’m in (having to be active on social media, the Violet Fog platform, etc), but…. I do have internet friends. And they are dope ass people.
In real life, my social tank drains faster than a margarita fishbowl on Mardi Gras night. (lame joke. Sorry….)
But look. Besides family, I really choose to only make time for my best friends, a few “good friends”, business friends who I collaborate with, and only VERY rarely: an acquaintance. I’m a people LOVER. Don’t get me wrong. I get along with everyone. Every person intrigues me. Yet… I’m not one of those people who wants to have a million active friends “in real life.” I’m too much of an introvert for that.
Here’s why I like my internet friends (aka VF readers and other professional creatives): I can say things more eloquently through the screen, I can cut out the dreaded small talk, and I can connect with strangers in an intimate way because I have no bias on their real-life situation nor do they have one on mine.
If I’m being honest, I’ve made internet friends since the day my parents got the internet back in 1999. I’d go in those live chatrooms…. screen name, DivaPeanut. LOL. Looking back, it was probably full of creepers, but I was down to talk to strangers from all over the globe and found it to be fascinating. These people I’d never meet in real life but could talk so intimately with through this screen.
Here are some examples:
My FIRST Instagram friend was a random girl named @katenoeight. We’ve been IG friends since 2012. When we first “met,” she was super into fashion and living this cool beach-y lifestyle, and now she’s this CrossFit champion who travels all over and is most likely one of the strongest girls I “know.” We like every photo of each other and we’re just IG buddies. I appreciate her! It’s fun watching her journey.
One of my first “professional creative” friends was @TaraMarieRose. Also since 2012. Tara is from Canada and lives the cutest life (started a successful agency) and this girl, oh my Gawd, she is the most POSITIVE woman I have ever encountered. I’m truly given a little spark whenever she posts something online. She wrote to me when my dog passed, she’s put me in touch with awesome companies to work with, she even met one of my real life best friends when she was in SF! (Sadly I was not there then!) Internet friends, sure, but feels, and is, like a real friendship.
Another internet friend is this woman who lives across the country and is just this lioness woman warrior. A big advocate for equal rights. She has talented kids, beautiful friendships, is super into wellness and mental health and she just lifts people UP online. Her handle is @azuaintuition and she WILL give you women-power vibes if you ever follow her. Such a free spirit.
OH! I once met one of my internet friends by chance in real life! @Brittybug. We were both a little drunky at different bachelorette parties at the same hotel in Palm Springs and recognized each other. This girl has been a girl crush for like, 6 years now. I found her online because she knew my old roommate and one day I just started creeping on her because I dug her style and thought her captions were hilarious. She’s so awesome!
One of my BEST (BEST BEST BEST) internet friends is @JoeyReibling. He is HILARIOUS and we basically tell each other everything from dating life, to career highs and lows, to what products are complete SHIT and what products we can’t live without… it almost doesn’t feel right to call him an “internet” friend because he gets me better than some of my girlfriends and we cheer each other on every single day. Ya feel me? Thank you, Instagram, for that!
One internet friend I can’t WAIT to meet is @inkandpulp. Mostly because we’re both INFP’s and I’ve only met a few other female INFPs in my life and that was SUPER exciting for me. I’m a nerd. Anyway, she lives in San Francisco and she’s soooo talented and poetic, I just know a friendship would translate in real life too.
Violet Foggers I talk to all the time are @ohminimarie, @ttmai and @ohhmg. Like we talk WEEKLY. I loooove when I get DMs from them. I also send them products sometimes and we haven’t even met in real life! Crazy right?
I have a few more stories like those above. People from Portland I want to meet, people from New York, other countries, all over. I guess my point is, internet friends rock! As long as they are genuine and not just for likes and superficial shiz. To me, it’s so great being able to connect with people I might not have known in real life. This is where I find joy in Instagram.
I connect with a LOT of VF readers on the reg. I consider them my friends. I LOVE when people respond to me on IG stories. Or send emails after an article they read. Or just engage. I come on IG to talk, not stalk! You know? I love when people talk to me.
Majority of the people I follow on Instagram, by the way, are Violet Fog readers. Because Violets are the shit. So brilliant and entertaining- there really is a theme. Kindness, smarts, funny. Some that I engage with on the reg are @_itsdyno and @daniellenicolay (who I’m pretty sure have been reading my stuff since the old fashion blog days so I love them extra for their loyalty)… I could name off a ton! I LOVE OTHER VIOLETS.
Internet friends are this bee’s knees!! I don’t care what anyone says. 😛 I am proud to have them! Who are some of your favorite internet friends? Do you have any?
Katey || INFP || Founder/Director of Violet Fog ||