Violets…. this is nuts. I’m moving. From San Francisco, CA to Austin, TX! Oh sheeeeeit. Did you see it coming? If we’re friends on IG then you know I’m in a long distance relationship right now. Or if you’re in the ALL girls FB group you might have seen me posting for some advice early on. ūüėČ WELL— HERE WE ARE!

I’m moving!¬†For adventure. For myself. And yes… for love.

Moving for love. Ahhhhh.

Moving for love sounds so…. romantic. Risky. Selfish. And fiery.

To me, it is all these things. And I want to share them with you because as much as I want to be ONLY looking on the brightest of sides, the truth is, any big life decision is going to be so much more complex than that.

Moving for love is….

Romantic, because (duh) I love Dan! I’m nuts about him. Adore him.¬†I thank God for this love. It’s so full and fun and meaningful! We’re best friends. And I love his mustache when he grows one. (IG friends know!)

It’s also Risky.¬†This move might not work out. I love visiting Austin, but living there will be a whole new ball game. I could end up unhappy.¬†I may never find my¬†rhythm there, like I have here in San Francisco. (I’ve lived in SF¬†for 4+ years! This city is my home!) I feel good about my choice to move, but it’s still¬†a big thing. I’m a little anxious.

I could (and hopefully do!) end up absolutely loving it there. But what if heartbreak happened? Dan breaks my heart. I break his.¬†I don’t know! It’s possible. The risk, it’s scary!¬†Stops me short of breath even thinking about it! Living together, that will be the ultimate test. And no matter how much I love Dan and he loves me, there is RISK¬†that it just won’t work out. I have to be ready for this! <— I am NOT banking on that. I’m SO stupid happy in love!¬†Just¬†trying to bring my head along with my heart… for once! ūüėõ

Moving for love feels selfish.¬†It hurts- I’m leaving behind friends and family. This is hard. I love them. I’m moving away from my people… you know? These people I’m moving¬†away from mean a LOT to me. Not seeing them as often is going to be hard.¬†Me moving to Austin means adding a layer of¬†inconvenience to our relationships. It makes them¬†more expensive, with less face time, less real life experiences spent together. It means not being able to be there in person at the drop of a hat. And every day, I’m just going to miss them. I know it.

And yet I’ve still chosen to move. Because– adventure?! Love?! All of it.

Everyone in my life is supportive. Checking me in the earlier stages (of course)- but always supportive. They know I am PICKY. They know my standards are high. (Always keep¬†your standards high, ladies!) My parents and friends, they¬†knew I was with someone I’d¬†given¬†a LOT of thought to. (And for the record– Zee Bull loves Dan. They’ve even talked on the phone a few times since meeting! How cute is that?!)¬†Ugh! Love it. But anyway, it’s tough.¬†I’m struggling to be okay with doing something that only benefits me. Emotionally, I don’t feel at rest yet. Maybe as the new becomes the norm, it will get easier. And perhaps I will show up in ways that I had never shown up before since (the hope is) I will be happier in Austin.¬†And a happier me means more love, more energy, more to give to others. *Le Sigh*…. I see both sides. Selfish and not. They battle within me everyday since I made the decision to move. I feel like many in my position could relate.

….Fiery. Fiery because ¬†moving for love is BIG, it’s sexy.

I feel these scary and vulnerable things about moving and love and yet-¬†I am also having the time of my life! Love is HOT.¬†FUN.¬†Adventurous. ¬†Revs me up, gets me seeing 4K! I’m such a sucker, I love¬†being in love.

(***I also LOVE being single but you get what I mean! I’m soaking up the moments.)

I tell myself… even if it doesn’t work out with Dan.
Even if I end up heartbroken.
I pray to God. I never forget how great it feels to be in love.

I hope I never grow ice-y towards it. That I’ll always be open. I’ve written about heartbreak so many times- love is always worth it! Even if it doesn’t last forever.

Those are my thoughts on moving for love. I’m terrified. I’m high on excitement.¬†I’m a little sad. But most importantly- I’m ready!

I’ve thought about this for¬†months. Written my heart out. Talked to the right people in my life, and prayed. So much prayer. I feel good. I can’t WAIT to see what life is going to look like. I can’t wait to hang with my boo all the time. He’s sooooo sweet.

A little background on Dan. We met at the end of last year in San Francisco. He was here for a conference. At the same time we were both at a restaurant called SENS (in Embarcadero) at the hostess station¬†waiting with our parties to be seated. (Fate?! Maybe!) Dan… really just started talking to me. His opening line was asking if Kerrie and I (BFF) were sisters. We loved the comment– I mean what girls don’t like hearing that? “We’re not sisters but we basically are!”¬†lolol can you picture it? Clearly it worked! Right away made me AND my bff smile. (***Dan is so charming I can’t stand it! Or resist it!¬†;))

What I first liked about him, is that he made me laugh…

The rest is history!

It’s so funny. I remember that night so well. It was one of the first nights I had gone out after my car accident. I was still in a lot of pain. That morning I’d even thought about canceling. (My girlfriends and I had plans for dinner + a comedy show.) Given the last few weeks, my mind…. umm well the LAST thing on it was dating.

Dan was persistent. Even with distance. Which I thought was so attractive. Him in Austin… me in San Francisco. I really just wanted to be texting buddies at first. Like flirt buddies at most. Maybe. But that didn’t last long! We clicked so well!¬†And got to know each other through hours of FaceTimes and phone calls. Through long-ish visits. Through texting all day. We’re such opposites and I love it- ¬†I’m all for a balance of yin and yang in relationships. Keeps it kinda fresh. We have so much fun! He’s¬†truly my BFF. I love him.

He’s a good man, Violets. He sees my quirks, the darker corners of me, and loves me still! He makes me laugh. He’s smart.¬†There’s so much mutual respect between us. And he really supports my dreams of writing and VF! A keeper, you know? Plus he has the cutest dog (Cody) who I’m just ga-ga over. Not that Dan needed more points but having a dog didn’t hurt. ūüėČ

Come early September I’ll be living in Austin.

I’m STILL going to be VERY involved in Bay Area life. Violet Fog was founded here- I promise you it will still have a presence! I’m leaving behind this city with so much love, appreciation, and vision! I love San Francisco. I’m already planning the next event. I have serious intent to keep my pulse on SF. Please know this and stick around. <3 I love the readership. I LOVE the community. I’m moving but I’m not going anywhere.

And Austin, well… I’m going to lean on girl support to grow VF in Texas!¬†Word of mouth. Collaborations. Projects.

I can’t wait to meet inspiring women in this awesome state. Share their stories. Create meaningful, worthwhile content. I’m nervous. I’m excited. I’m open to all of it! From what I’ve experienced,¬†Austin people as a whole seem SO nice and cool.

What I so humbly ask of YOU is: please tag Texas¬†friends you have in Violet Fog content! <3333¬†¬†I need you. I’m going to need your support as VF grows. I want to keep writing for you, researching. Interviewing. Creating content you can trust.¬†A corner of the internet where the bullshit is clipped! You know the heart and spirit of VF by now- readers comes first! YOU. Always. Violet Fog is small but mighty and YEAH GIRL I NEED YOU! I want you in my corner because I know VF readers are the BEST. The smartest. The kindest. Thank you, girls. Your readership/the community means everything to me!

I LOVE YOU, VFers. ¬†Any news on Austin?!! I’m going to need to know EVERYTHING!

P.S: Photo by the INCREDIBLE Duda Lima! She is so sweet. Such a kind soul. She is from Brazil and I know a lot of Brazilian girls are using Violet Fog to practice their english! WHICH I LOVE. Duda is a VFer herself and her IG is @Dudalima.Fot. Her website is here!

About The Author

Violet Fog

Written by your home girls at The Violet Fog

10 Responses

    • Violet Fog
      Violet Fog

      haha!! Like how often does he grow one? Not too often! I think it’s sooo cute though. ūüôā

  1. Avatar

    Hi Violet, I’m a new reader. Your stories are touching and I enjoy reading them. I’m stuck in a really bad place in life. I’ve been in a relationship for 20 years as of March 2019.. I live about 2-3 hours from Austin, however I’m a 38 year old male and my relationship is with another guy. 20 years! Over time tho, we have grown apart, we have separate bedrooms we are not intimate, we are just like brothers or roommates. It’s very sad and heartbreaking. He went through a lot of changes over the years and kind of got addicted to pills and just changed in general as a person regardless of the pills. I am so sad. I often cry myself to sleep, am sad and feel lonely, I’ve basically ghosted all my friends and family, became very introverted and isolated. However, for some reason I just feel like this is what my life is supposed to be, I can’t brong myself to leave, I feel like the world and people are so much colder and tougher than 20 years ago before we met.. also, we split bills and that is a nice financial convieniece. I just feel stuck. I’m afraid I’ve turned kinda icy or cold towards future relationships or new love. I know it’s possible, I just feel like I am very intuitive and can see faults or red flags in everyone I meet. I just feel stuck. I hate to be a Debbie downer, I just need some kind of fresh start or a new life to slip into and I just can’t imagine re starting life single after 20 years.. do you think there is any glimmer of hope for someone like me? Do you suggest leaving? Thank you so much for your articles, some really
    Good reads and they bring me joy and make me feel better in my isolated situation,

    • Violet Fog
      Violet Fog

      Hi James!
      YES YES YES you need to stay warm to love!!!! 38 is still so young. Don’t give up! Love doesn’t always last a lifetime. Sometimes only seasons, or decades. But love itself never runs out, you will find someone new!! But you need to get your rear in gear and really make some big life changes- don’t you? DO IT. If you want a voice memo for me to elaborate- send me on DM on Instagram! My handle is @TheVioletFog


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